The Geek Roundup Season Finales: Once Upon a Time, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Grimm

I'm a bit behind on thoughts and reviews I planned, so I'm going to do this lot in one batch before the memory fades:

Remember when you thought you left the gas on? This is worse.

Once Upon a Time: "There's No Place Like Home";  Very Good.  Exits the season with a timey-wimey episode that involves Emma and Hook going into the Pillar of Fire vortex triggered by Zelena's death.(Note to Storybrook residents: when the bad guy or girl you've just defeated makes a construct for their evil scheme  destroy it utterly before going to celebrate at Granny's).

It could have been tedious or rife with bad cliches, but it was all well done, espcially seeing Hook jealous of his past self who also has a thing for Emma.   Robert Carlyle is in good form as old Rumple( Emma re Hook:"You've sorta buried the hatchet." Rumple: "Yes, but why isn't it in his head?"), and it's a relief it takes less time than usual in timey-wimey stories to convince him they're from the future.  Given magic is a reality that makes sense, but writers of genre shows often forget that.(Both Star Trek Voyager and Next Generation had bright spots of awareness).    Rumple and Belle finally marry and I hope I was seeing Rumple replace the fake dagger he tricked Belle with(Bad Rumple!) with the real one so their marriage mostly starts out on the right foot.

It sucks that the woman Emma and Hook rescue from the Regina the Evil Queen turns out to be Regina the pseudo-reformed antihero's boyfriend's formerly dead wife, but this is a chance for the character to grow.   It will be beyond tedious if the writers try to "make her evil" once again.  I suspect Marion is doomed anyway.  Tink may be a rogue fairy, but my impression is the fairy dust itself never lies.  So unless it works only in one direction, Robin and Regina are "meant for each other" in the OUAT universe.  Of course in real life everyone has multiple people that could make long term happy relationships.  It would be a refreshing break for the writers to incorporate this is the OUAT universe:  "Yes, Regina, I feel you're my soul mate, but I love Marion too and, well, she got here first."

I've no clue who this Frosty/Frozen/Snow Queen person is at the end, though fandom appears to be deeply impressed.  Love the idea, Snow Queen, with maybe a bit of Queen Jadis (A blizzard in June?  Strange weather in Storybrooke!), but I'm less impressed with the cheezy blue and sequined dress.  Come on, snow/ice theme villains have a meme that works: white, ice, sparkle.  That's a crystal sparkle not glittery.  Any variation had better be knock your eyes out awesome to pull off.  This just made me think "what"?

Boring place holder while I hunt down the episode for a screenie.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.(last time I type it with periods) first season finale, "Beginning of the End": Out-fracking-satnding.  So much awesome in it I know I need to watch it again for bits I missed.  Highlights include May kicking Ward's ass,  Nick Fury back from the grave,   Deathlock getting free and a quintessential Joss Whedon fake-out playing with our expectations: when the highly modified and motivated Garrett turns out not be be dead and drags himself out of his metal box into the supper soldier machine to modify himself into a near invincible killing machine, he has only enough time to chew the scenery a bit before Coulson blows him away.  Absolutely brilliant.

Also, they seem to be distancing themselves from the hokey HYDRA meme, which is fine by me. They imply Garrett was a rogue, rogue agent, but whatever.  He's just random  atomic particles now.

Aww...it looks so sweet.  You know it can't last.

Grimm: "Blond Ambition"; Very Good.  Joining a line of genre shows(okay, oneish) with not so perfect weddings. The good news is neither Monroe or Rosalee  were visited by a time traveling version of themselves warning them to break off the marriage to save the person they love[Buffy reference].   Neither does Rosalee burst into song.   But what does happen is Adalind goes thru with the de-Grimming program for Nick.  Her "reasons" don't even make sense--"get back at " Nick?  His mum who saved her and her baby.  And  there's no guarantee she'll get her kid back after this.  In fact all she's done is burn bridges with all the people who had some sympathy for her.  It's the only weak bit in this episode:  is Adalind really that stupid and gullible? She must be the charms of the deliciously evil Alex Denisof, who does villain very, very well.  Now, when he's on the screen, I almost never think about that "Rogue Demon Hunter" .

Truble leaps into awesome form, heroically trying to save Nick but, alas, is too late.  It doesn't help when she crashes the wedding and the guests see her as a Grimm and go nuts and break the green potion stuff that would have saved Nick's Grimmness.  I predict next season there will be lots and lots and lots of research at the Magic Box, er, Rosalee's shop.

We're left with a cliff hanger on weather Sean will survive being shot--which almost guarantees he will. Come on, his Hexenbiest DNA has to count for something.  But then that didn't help Adalind's mother and she was just cut with glass.

I'm personally pleased Wu is being set up to come into the Masquerade...and look forward to the royal bitching out he'll give everyone for letting him think he was going crazy.  Except for maybe Hank, they all deserve it.

All is all an enjoyable ep, and solid setup for the next season. 

These three make up for the mixed ending of "The Tomorrow People", which was a victim of that Dark and Sinister Force in the Universe known as their own writers.  Never able to break out of their After School special plotting, they doomed the show, even though the ending hints at a future.  Maybe they think they'll be picked up by Syfy.  The show and actors may deserve a second chance, but the writers need to have that very honest dicussion about their flaws and limits that George Lucas never got when he made "Phantom Menace".

A more worthy candidate for Syfy that was also cancelled in "Almost Human".  Great show, great chemistry, but went out with a whimper on their last episode.  Of course, since Fox played the eps out of order in what fandom understandably suspects was an effort to sabotage the show,  we don't know if that was supposed to be the "last" episode.  I'm willing to give TTP another chance is they find a home, but if there's a choice between TTP and Almost Human is the higher quality show.

Alas, now veiwing will be dry a while as I wait for "Sleepy Hollow", "Doctor Who", and "Walking Dead" to return.  Though there still is "Continuum" to keep me company.  Perhaps now I'll take the time to explore another well talked about show I simply didn't have time for:

"Supernatural"?   "Barely Human"?  Or actually check out "True Blood" or "Game of Thrones"?

We'll see.

Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D: "Providence"

Things get (sorta) better.   Hydra may not be less hokey, but Whedon and company poke fun when they can: 

"HAIL HYDRA!"
"You look like a West Texas cheerleader at a pep rally."

We're also introduced to Eric who, while looking like a gamer geek, is highly competent and asking, nay, demanding, all the right questions.    (Hi, Coulson.  Who the fuck are these people  and why should they be trusted?) 

Ward continues to show he's a smarmy, backstabbing git, Coulson still hasn't let May out of the doghouse, and Flower Girl?   

Raina's going to be bummed to learn the toothfairy isn't real either.

I dunno what to make of Flower Girl.  She wasn't alone bizarrely attached to the idea Garrett aka the Clairvoyant had real psychic powers, but geez, she acts like she just learned Santa Claus isn't real.   How can someone that naive and trusting be willing to work for KAOS, er, I mean, Hydra?

Where the hell are we again?

So after dragging everyone in the middle of nowhere, getting inside Fury's super duper secret base, Sky gives the game away as soon as Ward calls to see what's up.   Of course it's not Sky's fault, no one knows Ward is Hydra, but it's excruciatingly painful to watch.  I guess the writers just want us to know how good Ward is at evil.

Not just evil, but happy evil

 Meanwhile, Garrett makes a deal with the newly released Quinn for access to the mini McGuffin, er, gravitonium.

*beat*

  Gravitinum? Anyone wondering why the word "hokey" features in these AOS reviews?

Anyway, Ward and Garrett agree to use Ward's hotness to manipulate Sky into decrypting the other McGuffin.  Oh boy.  Can't wait.

Side note, I've recently starting watching the remastered "Get Smart" series. Every time KAOS is on screen Hydra is never far from my thoughts.  That is how hokey Hydra as a concept remains.  Fortunately the characters, especially Coulson and Sky, capture my interest enough for me to hand wave Marvel's hokeiness...for now.

Speaking of hokey, I know what "Agents of Shield" needs to spice things up:  exploding paint. 

Paint that explodes by vibration..BOOM

How I've been feeling about the last couple episodes

I'll send a can to Hydra FedEX.

Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D.: "Turn, Turn, Turn"

 Spoilers!

I've been enjoying Agents of Shield.  At fist I read much second hand whinging at AVClub,  no amateurs at the sport.   At the same time I knew a friend who was following it  with little complaints.  Then I discovered (some how I missed this) that Joss Whedon was involved and I said to myself, "Just wait one bloody second."

I am a Joss fan, and I was perplexed at what could be the problem.  But looking back it wasn't surprising.  His flagship series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, had one major hurdle before I become a faithful fan for life:  the title. 

"Buffy the What?" I said when I first became aware of it in the late '90's.  I continued in fan philistinism until I was finally assimilated sometime in late 2001.  And that seems to be a pattern for Joss projects:   a slow immersion, then a sudden awareness of awesomeness.  From that perspective the dismissive 'tude re AOS made sense.  Give it time and it'll build momentum...it's the Joss way.

So I gave it a shot and was reasonably entertained and not prone to nerd rage until "Turn, Turn, Turn."

There's this baddie called the Clairvoyant, who is not a guy stuck in a wheelchair,

nor the ruthlessly competent, but personally cold, Agent Hand(my personal choice),

But Coulson's old war buddy Garrett.

To which I said, "Um, okay".  But I liked him....

It worked well enough for me because we didn't know much about him besides what Garrett and Coulson said, and people can change for the worse.  But when we discover HYDRA is behind all the rubbish, and then Ward of all people turns out to be a HYDRA agent, that was just too much.

HYDRA was a fictitious terrorist organization introduced in the comics in the 60's with projected red scare written all over it:

HYDRA is a criminal organization dedicated to the achievement of world domination through terrorist and subversive activities on various fronts, resulting in a fascist New World Order. Its extent of operations is worldwide; always attempting to elude the ongoing counter-espionage operations by S.H.I.E.L.D. HYDRA is funded by Baron Strucker's personal fortune, based on his recovered hoard of Nazi plunder from World War II, and funds established by the original leaders of the Japanese secret society that became HYDRA.
The organization is run with behind-the-scenes direction by Baron Strucker, alias Supreme Hydra. Under him is a central ruling committee; under them are individual division chiefs, and under them are the rank and file members and special agents.
In order to become a member of HYDRA, an individual must be a legal adult willing to submit to a thorough investigation of the applicant's personal background and to swear a death-oath of loyalty to HYDRA and its principles.

 Death oath? 

This is where I have a problem.   What worked in pulp comics in the sixties, is hokey as hell today.   It doesn't appear as if HYDRA or it's raison d'tre has been revamped to make it a plausible choice for a well intentioned extremist or naive dupe to swear a "death oath".  I'm really having trouble keeping a straight face on that one.  What's this New World Order(are you serious?) going to do for everyone that makes a "death oath" worth it?  I can think of several scenarios, usually of the bait and switch cult variety, but I'm not getting that's the direction they're going.  They seem to be playing this straight and it's too hokey for words.

 This is the seal of HYDRA:

Isn't it cool?  I mean, on a cool scale of 1 to 10, it's at least a 12.   Yay for coolness.  But...

Is a it believable that a normal, sane person, with no fanatical tendencies, would swear a "death oath" to any organization that had this logo? 

"Oh yes, I really believe the nice people with the skull and tentacle seal just want to make the world a better place.  This will end well."

Seriously?  Ward in no way fits the profile of someone deranged enough to believe this. 

I'm not alone in feeling this direction is not true to the character; fandom is desperately holding out that it's a clever ruse, and Ward's really a double, double agent and Hand isn't dead, having been simply stunned.  Alas, I believe people will be disappointed.  I fear they're playing it straight on this one.

There were other missteps leading to this moment: Hand suspects Coulson, so she's going to kill everyone on the plane?  Coulson's idiot decision to keep May, a combat expert, in cuffs while they are under attack and it has been determined, whatever May did, it had nothing to do with the Clairvoyant.  And, my personal annoyance, the idea that the Clairvoyant had psychic powers at all.  Yes, it's possible since this is a universe with super powers, but it really shouldn't have been a stretch for anyone to wonder if SHIELD had a good old fashioned mole and that's how the Clairvoyant was "clairvoyant".  So on top of this we have HYDRA now. 

Meh.

My personal suspicion is this is MARVEL's call; Whedon and crew can only operate creatively within Marvel's parameters and Marvel, for whatever reason,  is invested in the hokey retro HYDRA meme.

Ah well.  I'll continue watching and hope for the best.