Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Hobbit: The Unexpectedly Good Film

 B+  or Exceeds Expectations

I had some doubts.  Skimmed a couple of reviews from "the very good but" to meh variety.  Friends of mine have sworn it off in protest..at least until it hits the second run beer theatres.  I shared their doubts that one book should be stretched to three movies.  But I gave Jackson the benefit of the doubt since he was approaching it as a prelude to the War of the Ring.  Because in another lifetime I felt I was the biggest Tolkien geek on the planet.

How big?  I know dug up the names of the two blue wizards,( Alatar and Pallando) back in the early '90's when you had to comb through The Unfinished Tales and the Lost Tales for such rare gems of geek knowledge no one else outside fandom would care about.  So, being familiar with the events concurrent with "There and Back Again",  I don't think Jackson's reasoning behind "stretching" the book into three movies is flawed.  "The Hobbit" is part of the War of the Ring, a cold war before Sauron revealed himself.  That's why Gandalf was always haring off, trusting the dwarves to their own devices for weeks at a time.  He had to work with the White Council and deal with the Sorcerer, who turned out to be Sauron testing the waters, and this is happening at the time of Bilbo's adventure.

But I also respect the criticisms; The Hobbit could have been a perfectly serviceable single movie, following the story as written.  Expanding it was a risk, it could have easily have become bloated and unwatchable.  I am happy to report it is neither and I'm finding myself enjoying it in some ways more than the LOTR trilogy films.  Of course, it's not over yet.  Two more films to go.  I confess, after rereading the Hobbit recently, I can understand getting two films from the material;  three I'm dubious about but let's hope all's well that end's better!

Spoilers Imminent:  You have been Warned

I was prepared for a substandard film and just surrendered myself to the idea I would enjoy it even if annoying liberties had been taken with the source material, a la Faramir tempted by the Ring(I still find that bit hard to watch in The Two Towers).  As it was the only truly silly bit is the rabbit sled (don't ask).

Highlights:

Radagast: inspired performance by Sylvester McCoy(that funny noise is a Type 40 taking off.  He is a VERY great wizard.)

Saruman: Christopher Lee's performance as the arrogant condescending Istari POS is always enjoyable, especially chuntering under his breath about what a disgrace Radagast is to the Order.
Galadriel telling him to STFU(you know, nicely) is equally enjoyable.  Lee is a big Tolkien geek himself and will correct your Middle Earth grammar at a drop of a hat BTW.

Gollum: our favorite Middle Earth nutcase returns.  Serkis is clearly having fun.

Smaug: taking a page from the first Jaws movie, Jackson only shows us hints of Smaug:  thundering feet, an eye, and of course FIRE.  It's more effective and conveying Smaug's size and terror than showing him full size.

Wargs: finally done properly.  Sorry, the wargs in the LOTR films looked like hyenas or sabertoothed tigers without the teeth.  Or half wolf bear things.  Seriously, wtf?


Thranduil:  OutFrackingStanding.  Especially on an Irish Elk(Megaloceros giganteus).  So cool, words escape me so I'll let a pic do the trick:
Not in source material but too cool to care
Thranduil is cast well, not just as a hot elf, but as Legolas' daddy:




Dwarves: the biggest and most ambivalent surprise personally .   Remember Gimli from the first films?  Of course you do:

Gimli was perfect as a dwarf.  He matched the source material and fan expectations:stout, stocky, strong, long beard, craggy features.  The dwarves in The Hobbit film...vary.   Half of them fit this description.   Another couple are acceptable variations.  But  Fili, and Kili (and to a lesser extent Thorin Oakenshield) are downright elven svelt, even pretty..nay I say hot... for dwarves:
Dwarves

Thorin Oakenshield
Who does hot dwarves? Seriously, Thorin looks like a burly Aragon, compare:

Aragorn

And the weird thing is...this isn't bothering me.  Or effecting how I imagine the dwarves in the book(still with long beards, etc).  It's like a religious experience: I can enjoy the book and film as two separate things and they're not getting in each others way.

This might not work for everyone, but it's working for me, and I eagerly await the next installment.

Music: Outstanding. Was pleased to hear the main LOTR theme used to set the film's mood.  I was mildly anxious someone would do something weird and recompose the entire theme, breaking the musical continuity.  I'm pleased to report my fears were unfounded.

Finally note: most showings are in 3D.  I saw it in 2D, like a normal person.   From discussions with people, it's possible 3D, while being excellent as an FX enhancer, is getting in the way of feeling the story.  And there is a good story here.

If you chose to see The Hobbit, happy adventuring.

Favorite Film Quotes:

[In Bagend]
Gandalf to Bilbo: “The world is not in your books and maps, it's out there."

[Rivendell ]
 Galadiel: Why the Hafling?
 Gandalf:  Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.

Galu!







Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Chinese Tax Dollars at work.....

Too funny for words:

Sex Doll Saved From Drowning By 18 Cops


The doll could not be reached for comment.
The phrase "inflated body count' took on new meaning for 18 cops in China's Shandong Province who worked together to save a sex doll they thought was a drowning woman.

The incident happened July 11 when officers responded to a report that there was a lady in distress in one of the province's rivers. The crew worked frantically for nearly an hour to rescue the woman, according to Digital Journal, and in the process, attracted a crowd of about 1,000 curious, excited and anxious spectators to the scene.
It took more than 40 minutes before the officers were able to recover the pleasure toy.
After confirming that they had indeed run around in a panic for nearly an hour over trying to rescue someone’s blow-up girlfriend, the police presented it to the anxious crowd, who quickly covered their children’s eyes and walked away, according to RocketNews24.com
No word on how the sex doll got in the river in the first place, but the Times of India reports that Shandong is an important center for producing sex toys in China and supplies them across the globe.


 Comments vary from the obvious, the brilliant and the tasteless,  dominated by a combination of all three:


HufferDave87
Give me the facts, then I'll decide...
04:14 PM on 07/24/2012
I find it incredibly amusing that these people took their children with them to see what was most likely a dead body being fished out of the water, but once it turned out to be a blowup sex doll (which, not to mention, isn't exactly anatomically correct explicit anyway), they THEN felt the need to cover their children's eyes.


Sableknows
Button Pusher
04:57 PM on 07/24/2012
She was obviously well loved. Rest in pieces. 
 
 
05:08 PM on 07/24/2012
I think "saved" is the wrong word...look at her condition! 
 
 
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JAV06
07:10 PM on 07/24/2012
they'll have to put her down..... 
 
 
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rocknhula
Not all who wonder are lost
03:36 PM on 07/24/2012
Hey! This sets the stage for a whole new reality show, "Chinese Keystone Cops." 
 
 
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
southboundcowboy
Think for your self.
03:26 PM on 07/24/2012
All Chinese police officer's are now required to carry tire patch kits. LOL 
 
 
03:16 PM on 07/24/2012
From the looks of it, the doll didn't survive, but her companion is recovering in a psychiatric facility.
02:18 PM on 07/24/2012
Why isn't the doll Chinese? 
 
 
i the ys
eternity takes no time at all
02:50 PM on 07/24/2012
It's for export. 
 
BBlaw16
It just. Doesn't. Matter.
02:55 PM on 07/24/2012
Clearly a kidnapped sex slave from the Americas. 
And then someone gets serious:
 

hculliton
Match bearings and shoot!
02:14 PM on 07/24/2012
For all the folks laughing, if the police, fire dept, ect, respond to an emergency call for a person drowning, as a father, I really want them giving 110% every time. Even if it turns out to be a blow-up doll. The fools in this story aren't the rescuers.
 
 He's right.  They should give 110% because you never know...it could have been a person.  Or a dog. Or a dolphin.  Or a tire. Or a plastic bag.

Seriously, though one of the "rescuers" could have died.   But they didn't.  And it's still freaking funny.   I was up all night laughing at comments.  

This wasn't the first wacky misunderstanding in China this week.  Villagers went the extra mile to "save" a "rare mushroom", with hilarious results.




Sunday, May 13, 2012

Harry Freaking Potter on the bus...

It was last Tuesday.  Or possibly Wednesday.  One of those days with "day" in it.  I'm riding the bus to a friend's house whilst behind me I'm being regaled by a couple of college nerds talking about everything under the sun.

They're vocal, but oddly not intrusive; much of it is quite interesting: their classes, their favorite this and that, books, movies, whatever.   It's a bit like conversational white nosie.

Then I hear the word Gryphindor Gryffindor.  Which I apparently forgot how to spell.

She's explaining to him that "these are Gryffindor colors".   Being a Potter nerd, my ears perk up to follow the conversation closer as she explains her reference.

Then he does it.  He says the Unclean Word.   The Blasphemy:

"Oh yeah, I'm not really into that Harry Potter, Twilight kinda stuff."

I stiffen.  Unbeknowest to me, the woman sitting next to me, who I've never met in my life, stiffens as well.  As the young woman politely but firmly corrects her companion about confusing Harry Potter and Twilight, the woman and I turn as one to face the Blasphemer and echo the rebuke:

"Harry Potter has nothing to do with Twilight."

A hearty laugh was had by all.  

True story; exact details may be lost to memory...apologies in advance to all involved.














The casual reader might suspect I'm unimpressed with Twilight...they would be correct.


Wednesday, March 21, 2012